Friday, 22 December 2017

Do I deserve Christmas? | BLOGMAS 2017 DAY 22

After what has been undoubtedly the most difficult year of my life so far, I wanted to touch on my feeling that I don't deserve to celebrate Christmas..

 This might seem like such a pessimistic thing to say, but I really do believe that I don't deserve to experience Christmas like others do.

I feel like this because I've spent the year struggling with my mental health, out of work and just generally not being as helpful and supportive to others as I could've been. I feel as though I haven't really contributed anything to deserve a big, indulgent dinner or any gifts I may receive. 

While others have spent the year getting their dream jobs, starting families and tackling life head on, I've spent most of the year in bed, asleep. 

I'll still try and enjoy my day but I'll have a feeling of guilt deep down. I'll have nagging thoughts about how someone else should be in my place and that someone deserves my Christmas experience more than I do.

At the same time though I know this is just my anxiety talking. I know my family love me and want to spend time with me. I know I should enjoy Christmas just as much as anyone else because I've got through a tough year. I might feel like I've done nothing but I've survived and that's enough. I honestly didn't think I would've made it to the end of the year but here I am. I'm heading into the new year with a positive mindset and that's a lot more than how I felt this time last year!!

Do you feel the same as this? If you do, how are you planning to push through the negative thoughts and enjoy your Christmas? What will you tell yourself to remind yourself that you deserve to have a good time?

Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter here

Thanks for reading and I'll be back here tomorrow at 7pm (UK time) for day 23 of Blogmas!!


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